Saturday, January 27, 2018

Does It Matter?

YAGM-lite. Those are the dreaded words that make United Kingdom Young Adults in Global Mission cringe. While our YAGM brothers and sisters serve in countries who are still developing by US standards, UK YAGMs serve in a country that is arguably more privileged than the United States. Over the years, this has caused a bit of derision from some; the idea being that YAGMs serving in the United Kingdom have it easier than other country groups because it's an English-speaking, developed country.

YAGM as an organization has done a really good job, to my awareness, of mitigating this feeling from people in the program and have made a special effort to make sure UK YAGMs know that what they are doing is equally important. But it's a hard task, because much of the notion of global service revolves around the outdated idea of going somewhere "poor" and helping "poor" people live better lives. No matter how much we as a society move away from this, there are always going to be eyebrows raised at the idea of US-born young adults spending a year in England...as volunteers.

This weighed heavily on the UK YAGM group. Throughout Orientation in Chicago, as we began to get to know each other, we shared the same fear with each other: will what we do matter?

That was the fear I had upon being assigned to the United Kingdom. I trusted the wisdom of YAGM, but I still was afraid. Would this be a worthwhile experience? Would we actually be helping people? Would we be challenged?

Would what I did to serve the world during my YAGM year matter?

During the first few months, the fears of being challenged, of helping people dissipated. My cohort breathed a collective sigh of relief to each other. Together we knew: we are being challenged. We realized: yes, we are helping people.

And what we're doing does matter, which is somehow still surprising and joyous to all of us. We feel needed and loved by our host communities. We're accompanying our neighbors. We're learning to love others as we love ourselves. We give our time and our enthusiasm and our energy to help the people in our communities. In short, we are acting as God's hands and feet in the world. We're living out the tenets of Young Adults in Global Mission.

And yet.

A few weeks ago, I found out that a YAGM in another country group had expressed disdain to another YAGM for our UK experience - a disdain that wasn't so much a snide comment but a full-on lashing of the UK YAGM experience as being less than what they themselves were experiencing.

My ego was really wounded. I wavered between anger and despair. How can all of the exhaustion, the endless efforts, the hope and frailty, the growth, the ups-and-downs, how can that be considered less than someone else's experience? Who was this person even to judge?

Are we not really doing YAGM right? Is this experience worth it? Are we helping people?

Does what we do matter? 

The old fears rolled in like thunderclouds.

Some days, I feel for me personally it would almost be easier to know that what I was doing mattered if I served in a non-English speaking, developing country. At least when people asked me what I was learning I could say Spanish! or Arabic!. Easy. Like a multiple choice test. I could say I celebrated Christmas in ninety degree weather and that I've learned to love a hitherto-unknown food. That I had a funny experience where I couldn't understand what someone said to me on the bus or about how I was learning what it felt like to be the minority in the room. That's not to say it's not challenging to have these types of experiences; all the same, I wish I could have something tangible to say when people ask me how I am growing.

I love hearing stories about these moments, though. And I love hearing about my fellow YAGMs across the globe. I can't wait to hear more when we meet again at Re-entry, and I genuinely look forward to celebrating their lives when I get their newsletters and read their blog posts. It's a little glimpse into the rest of the YAGM world and I'm so grateful for all that they do. It's not hard to see, from even just the tiny peek I get through social media, that what they're doing is challenging, faith-filled, and full of love. It really matters.

It's just a lot harder and less obvious to qualify for me here, in the United Kingdom, that what I'm doing is the same. I doubt myself every day, even without negative words from other people. I want to feel needed, to feel like I'm serving, and to feel like I'm making a difference in peoples' lives.

So I've come up with this trick to help me remember that being a UK YAGM is not less than. It's simple and it puts me straight when the doubting thoughts start to roll in.

I just think of my fellow UK YAGMs. That's it. When I think of them, I am more sure than ever that we are having no less of a challenging growth experience than our friends in other countries. I feel such pride and admiration for every single one of them.

I think of my friend Grace, who takes care of the 92-year-old woman, Betty, whom she lives with. After working a full day at the church where she serves, she comes home and helps her get ready for bed, a process taking over an hour. She even washes her hair. Grace is the one who gets up in the middle of the night when Betty needs something. She accompanies her as she walks through the end of her life.

I think of Heath, who serves in a drug rehab center, who works long hours with men who want desperately to change their circumstances and are pulled, again and again, into the mire of addiction. I think of Danielle, who works at a girls' boarding school - the girls there love her and need her. They come to her after their families have given them bad news or other girls have teased them. I think of Sarah, who is helping a family who is in desperate need. The kids' parents are addicted to drugs and she is a stabilizing force in their lives.

I think of Molly, whose bright smile brings love to the youth and children she works with at her church, and who is bringing new ideas and energy to a congregation in need of her. Of Allison, bringing joy to the Roma youth in her community and her fellow congregants with her endless enthusiasm, and Annie, whose kind gentleness is an asset to troubled kids night after night aboard a mobile youth centre. Of Jasmine, whose daily tasks are like the work of two people but who still manages them with her usual joie de vivre, and Rosina, planning and running events for not one but four churches, whose generosity shines when she cares for others in her life, and of Sarah, who makes sure families have a safe place to send their kids after school and patiently, gently cares for each child in the program. All of us, making a difference to those we serve. A vital difference. A difference that really matters.

When I think of my fellow United Kingdom YAGMs, doing the work that they are doing, my heart fills. I don't feel doubt. We're being changed. We're growing up, we're growing in faith. They matter to me; they matter to the people they serve. Their actions show me that God is synonymous with love.

Then I know. Whose experience is any less? Not ours.

Maybe you resonate with what I'm writing, even if you're not a YAGM. Maybe you fear that what you do each day doesn't matter enough. Maybe you fear that you don't matter.

Let me tell you: You do.

We are all God's children. God is in each of us. No human being is less than any other. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, if you are in Manchester or the suburbs of Detroit, Kigali or Baltimore, Phnom Penh or Orange County, we're all fundamentally equal because of God's love for us.

And if your mission is to learn from others, accompany your neighbors, and love deeply, then what you're doing is full of God. If what you're doing each day is making someone's life a little better, no matter where in the world you are, that is love.

Maybe right now you're the person who could use some help - that is equally as important. You deserve God's love. Stand still and let it pour down on you, soak it in.

Let it fill you up. Take your time.

Only when you feel that love brimming from every pore in your body, every fiber of your being, then move forward. Spread that love wherever you go, from your fingertips, and your mouth, and your feet.

Use that feeling of endless love. Let people love you and open your heart to love them. Help people who have need, no matter where they live or where they came from. Be the hands and feet of God on earth.

Don't let anyone tell you differently: You are a child of God. You are loved. You matter.





Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Ways to Travel Cheaply in the UK


I'm hosting a lot of visitors over the next few months, which I'm super excited about. It also got me thinking about all the ways to travel cost-effectively here in the UK. I've been keeping a list in my phone of all affordable travel tips I've heard since September, starting at our TFG Prep Conference. Here are a few of the ways I've found to stretch your pounds a bit further and see more of the Land of Hope and Glory (aka England). 

Awkward selfie alert. This is my face when I was taking a train selfie to send to someone (OK, it was for Shantonu, let's be real) and then I was literally about to take it when I realized a guy was sitting right in front of me staring at me taking the selfie. Aaaaawkward. 
  • Best pro tip: BUY TICKETS IN PERSON/ON THE PHONE: This has helped me so many times. The people who are employed by the national railway agency (government-run) and not by the specific train companies are required by law to give you the cheapest train tickets for your journey. They are also exceedingly helpful people, in my experience. So I always go to York Train Station in person to get the train tickets that I need.
  • If you are doing it online, start the process by checking ticket prices at Trainline - their app or the website. Then use the other resources to make it cheaper from that baseline cost that you find. 
  • Look at Ticketsplitter.com to split up the legs of your journey - it can be cheaper. 
  • Travel on off times (ask and look for non-peak tickets)
  • Take a bus if possible - it's usually longer but cheaper. 
  • Book tickets as much in advance as possible.
  • If in London, purchase an Oyster card and load it up. 
  • Use your Railcard! You can buy a bunch of different variations of these. I have a 16-25 railcard; you can also get a 26-30 Railcard, a Two-Together Railcard (for a couple or two friends traveling together) or a Seniors Railcard, and a bunch of other options. Check it out here. These Railcards are a fee paid every year or two or three (depending on type, I guess) and they give a 30% discount on every single ticket. It's really great.


Anyone have any other UK-cheap-travel tips? Share in the comments! 


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Shantonu's Visit to York!

Shantonu visited me here in York in early December and it was THE BEST. I wrote a little bit about it before but thought I'd (finally) share a recap of our adventures. I took a lot of time off work, we ate a lot of good food, saw some amazing sights, and relaxed a lot. Overall, it was a luxurious and wonderful ten days.

We started by meeting in York, and then the next day we took the train to Leeds. There we hopped on the start of the Settle-Carlisle Railway!


This is an awesome railway that's really famous for having beautiful scenery. It runs through the Yorkshire Dales. We stopped at a cute cafe in Leeds for tea during our train layover.



This was on the wall:


Shantonu said it was directed at me. Sheesh. Maybe, though.

We took the train up to Appleby, which is a large village along the route.


We got off, explored, and found a place for lunch. 



We ate at the Appleby Hub. We thought the food was amazing and the idea of it even cooler! The Hub was a space for community events, classes, initiatives, and a cafe (which is where we ate). The people were super nice and gave us all kinds of advice about where to go.


We had planned to stay and explore Appleby but it's kind of a small village and I had a hankering to be able to say we'd done the whole railway line. Shantonu had no such hankering but I cajoled and because he's the wonderful boyfriend that he is, we hopped on the train again and went up to the very tippy top of the line in Carlisle.



Holy mackerel it was cold. That's mostly what I remember about this place. Pretty little northern English city but FREEZING. COLD. We explored the city center.



We saw the Castle and the Cathedral (which was super pretty) as well as the eastern most tip of Hadrian's wall (or something...whatever. It was so cold I couldn't function). And then got back on the train to go down to Ribblesdale.


 Hehe. Someone was tired.


When we got off the train it was freezing and dark. Ribblesdale isn't even a village, just a stop along the route where walkers can get off. There is one place to stay, which is also a pub, and it's the only building around for miles. It was so cool! We walked down the snowy, dark path from the train station to the inn and all around us were dark fields and stars and just this one cluster of lights from the inn.

It was blessedly warm inside and our room was surprisingly gorgeous for such a small place. It was dark when we arrived but in the morning we had a really good view of the Ribbleshead Viaduct. After dropping our bags, we sat by the fire and ordered food. The portions were enormous!!! Each plate was enough for two people with very hearty appetites. And it was delicious. Even though I hate food waste, I couldn't finish it all.



Note to selves: Don't try to finish everything. This is how I felt when I did.

The next morning after an equally enormous full English breakfast and tea, we left our bags in the inn's back storage room and embarked on climbing Whernsdale! As we walked, we passed the Ribbleshead Viaduct, which is a big reason we decided to stop at that particular place and do walks.


The walk was loooong, intermittently foggy, rainy, sunny, and icy over four hours (ah, England), but really beautiful too.





We made it to the top! Phew.


During our long descent, after the super steep part, we ate some snacks as we walked so we could catch the next train. After a wet and cold journey back down the line, we made it to Settle! Settle was my favorite place we visited on this trip. It was so cute. It was such a classic English northern town experience.

We stayed in the nicest lodge called the Linton Court Hotel. The rooms were feminine, chic, and rustic all at once. It was such a treat. And the bed was sooo comfortable. Plus, free wine, cookies, and a kitchen where we could make our own food! Plus TV! PLUS A FIREPLACE!




In Settle, we did one medium walk just outside the town. That's one thing I love about England - you don't really need to drive anywhere to get good walks/hikes. We saw loads of sheep (my fave!) and a HORSE!


I tried in vain to pet a sheep, but it didn't happen. Sheep run from me. Shantonu was concerned I was scaring them. They just don't understand me yet. All in good time, sheepies.



Later in the day we meandered around the town of Settle itself, we wandered up the hill and away from the city through a bunch of houses.


They were like rowhouses made of stone all pressed against each other and pressed right against the road. (It wasn't a busy road, obviously.) There was nowhere much to park. But somehow there was still a little playground and grassy area tucked among the houses overlooking a huge hill with a good view of the town. And - get this - a random LAUNDROMAT in one of the little stone dwellings, just like you'd see a laundromat anywhere else, except it was super tiny and had no staff person in it. It was so quaint and different than any type of residences I've seen in the United States.

Then we had lunch at this inn across the street which was super delicious.



We also watched a lot of TV and Shantonu cooked for me :) Oh yeah and there were bathrobes which were super fluffy. One of the things I miss most is my bathrobe from home which is enormous (too much so to pack, sadly) and pink and fluffy, so this was a nice treat.



The next day we took the train to Skipton.


There, we rented a car and drive to Bolton Abbey. Bolton Abbey is home of Bolton Priory. There are lots of old abandoned priory ruins in England because of the dissolution of the monasteries by King Henry VIII (love seeing how something I've read about as a history nerd for years has literally affected the physical landscape of the country I'm now living in!). This is a particularly famous one in Yorkshire.

I was super nervous about driving on the left side of the road...


But Shantonu did a great job.

We walked around the priory.



Then we went inside the adjoining church, which has been a place of worship for over 800 years, and walked out to the visitors pavilion where we had massive pizzas.




Shantonu with some sheep!

Then we walked back along the river.



And drove back to Skipton without any incidents. Phew. We walked around but in the dark/as tired as we were it was like Settle 2.0. We finally caught our train through Leeds and went home to York!

Sleepy after lots of traveling. Also, says Shantonu, too many trains. (It was A LOT of trains for him in just four short days - he had also taken one to get to York from the airport.)


The next day we went to coffee morning at my church so Shantonu could meet lots of church people, and then had lunch with my church friend Ian and his wife Jean. Ian has been a really big support to me here in York. He's a great listener and is a really wonderful, spiritually balanced person. His wife, Jean, is also so lovely. They cooked us a delicious lunch and dessert, and Ian drove us back into town.

That evening I had planned a mini-surprise for Shantonu. We were supposed to do a Christmas Tour of York, but it ended up being a Christmas run-through of York and we ended up at Museum Gardens. I had seen the sign ages before he came as I did some research and bought us tickets. It was a very hyped event for me because several people mentioned it (without knowing I had bought tickets); my Carecent friends and I talked about it one morning at volunteering, and Ian and wife actually mentioned it at lunch, without knowing Shantonu and I were going that evening! (I didn't tell them til after.)


It ended up being super cool. It was a very fancy coordinated light-and-sound Christmas themed show in the big park that sits outside the Yorkshire Museum. There was a video of the Nutcracker story portrayed on an ancient thousand year old wall - I thought this was such a cool juxtaposition.




We roasted marshmallows too!


And then we left to meet my friend Rachel for dinner! We had burgers at Byron's, which I always eyeball when I walk past. I never go out to eat on my own (expensive) so it's a treat when I go with friends/visitors.

The next day we wandered around York and I showed Shantonu my favorite places around the city - the walls, the library, the Minster (we went to Evensong), and a few other random areas.



The next day was Thursday so I had school-based mentoring, so in the afternoon Shantonu went Christmas shopping. We both met up and then went to M & S. We both have an affinity for M & S after our shopping experience there last January when we visited London/Shantonu's cousins here in England. M & S is this pricey, kind of gourmet grocery store that also has tons of clothes and household things and a cafe. It's actually the nearest full service grocery store to me in York because it's in the city center, but it's so darn expensive I don't even have it on my radar as a place to shop. But once every few weeks I'll go in there and wander around and look at the nice food (and occasionally the clothes). Also they have free bathrooms on the top floor.

THEN we had the most amazing dinner at the Bengal Brasserie.


Shantonu's dad treated us (from afar) to dinner there, and it was the loveliest dining experience I've had in ages. The service was excellent and the food was super good, too. The waiters were so nice, and they took lots of pictures of us. After they brought the check they offered us free limoncello (which I accepted because it reminds me of Italy, and then realized I don't like limoncello).



Then on Friday we took an early train up to Durham, which is a cute northern city about an hour away. It was so nice!

We took a walk along the river.



And then we saw the cathedral and just meandered around without too many real plans.




The Cathedral was beautiful and had some fascinating history.


Agreed. (This is from a big indoor Market near the town center which held lots of random bodegas.)

The hotel we were in had a pool so we got to go SWIMMING and it was HEATED. We would have gone in the jacuzzi but a lot of disgusting, coughing, phlegmy people were sitting in it coughing their brains out so we instead we used the sauna. Tough life, I know.

On Saturday after we got back from Durham we ate lunch and made smoothies.


I don't know why we did this. But it did give me an opportunity to introduce Shantonu to my favorite British hobby (which in fact I am practicing right now as I write this): pressing as many body parts as possible against a hot radiator.

Saturday evening found us huddled in the corner of our living room against the radiator, trying to thaw out.


Shantonu wins the award for Best Boyfriend Ever for a lot of reasons, but one of them is this:


He decided my backpack needed sewing to make it more sturdy. So this is him with his headlamp sewing up the seam. :)


I practiced my Mission Partners speech for the 15th time, and lots of episodes of Dr. Who later, we went to bed. The next day was Mission Partners Sunday.

After that, we went to a Christmas party for The Island kids, where we helped out and met some cool people (and Shantonu re-met some nice people  I work with every week).

And then Monday, Shantonu met my Carecent friends! I will write more about Carecent, because it deserves its own post, but I adore volunteering there. It's such a wonderful place and the women I serve breakfast with are the absolute best. They are caring, kind, and thoughtful people who strive to make each person's experience at Carecent a good one and to give each person a little relief from their daily lives - which, as Carecent serves homeless and vulnerable people in York, can be pretty rough.

They almost had made me cry the previous week because as I walked in they were all huddled together and they presented me with a card. In it was a note from them and 20 pounds for me and Shantonu to treat ourselves with. I was so flabbergasted and also overjoyed. So I took him to meet them and we all went out for coffees together after they finished serving (I took off that morning to hang out with him so I wasn't volunteering). It was so good that they could meet him and vice versa.


Monday in the afternoon we watched a lot more Dr. Who and then went to Wagamama (which Shantonu's cousins has introduced us to on our last trip!).

It was super yummy - we both LOVE Wagamama - but for some reason my stomach decided to throw a huge, dramatic temper tantrum and midway through the meal I thought I was going to die. This almost never happens, but we left early and then went home and I relaxed and started to feel better.


This meant we ended up with a lot of Wagamama leftovers which made my next few days more bearable (because I got to eat them all hehe. Maybe I planned it?). Tuesday was the day Shantonu left. I waved him off at the train station and headed home for the return of my usual routine.

Even though I miss Shantonu (and many people from home) a whole lot, I feel super lucky I got to see him only 3.5 months in and that I can Skype/text/call him (and everyone else) whenever we want. So I can't complain because ours is a relatively easy long-distance relationship compared to many others who are further apart for longer amounts of time. We are very grateful for that :)