The volunteers (mostly older folks) engage us in light activities relating to a weekly theme. There was an Easter Egg decorating week. A few weeks ago was the Royal Wedding. We celebrated Christmas activities. We did a Bonfire Night back in November.
I used to say Friends was an occasional activity, but I realized to my surprise this week that I've been going on and off since September. Here and there I had a few pauses, but after watching the end-of-year slideshow, I realized I'd attended many of the weeks pictured. I also realized that I myself have not taken many pictures, hence the lack of photos in this post.
We get free tea. I like this. (I always get redbush, also known as rooibos.) But that's not the only reason I go. I actually like being a part of it, and I've learned a lot from Mondays at Friends Intl.
We get free tea. I like this. (I always get redbush, also known as rooibos.) But that's not the only reason I go. I actually like being a part of it, and I've learned a lot from Mondays at Friends Intl.
Read on. I swear, that was just the boring intro and it gets better.
Sometimes you need to socialize even when you hate it: This year, I've learned over and over again that it is far better to force myself to socialize than to sit alone in my room. As a natural introvert, I needed an outlet that was not my job in which I could *attempt* to make friends.
It's not always easy to get myself geared up to go. Like the introvert in me is just not a fan of it. Throughout the year, I've had a Monday routine. I wake up early for Carecent. I come home. I start on other work. I usually remember it's Friends International Night throughout the afternoon. I think, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO. I grumble to myself about it all day, and think, why would I go to this weird little Christian group? I def have enough church time as it is. I'm not a non-native English speaker so it's not really for me. [substitute other excuses here].
I should add I don't feel this way about most things, just some things. I don't know why, and I won't bore you with psychoanalyzing myself on this front.
Anyway, it hits 6.30 pm and I start to think, I really need to have more friends. It hits 7 pm, and I think, I could still make it. 7.10 pm rolls around and I scarf down dinner, throw on a coat, and roll out the door. I always come home glad that I went.
I should add I don't feel this way about most things, just some things. I don't know why, and I won't bore you with psychoanalyzing myself on this front.
Anyway, it hits 6.30 pm and I start to think, I really need to have more friends. It hits 7 pm, and I think, I could still make it. 7.10 pm rolls around and I scarf down dinner, throw on a coat, and roll out the door. I always come home glad that I went.
Temporary friends are better than no friends: In the vein of wanting to be more social, I've adopted a new motto with gusto this last month, thanks to a helpful point from Shantonu: temporary friends are better than none. This applies to lots of other activities and situations, but Friends International is a prime example. I highly doubt I'll stay in touch with the vast majority of people from the group, but that's OK. It gets me out of the house/socializing on a Monday night.
While they might not be as long-term as relationships back home, I do have ongoing friendships with some fellow participants too, particularly some of the volunteers. Derrick and I bonded over a mutual interesting in fairtrade; Stuart is a garulous retired pastor who likes to talk to me about Lutheranism; and David and Mandy (I've mentioned them previously) have hosted Chantal and me for lunch and activities.
While they might not be as long-term as relationships back home, I do have ongoing friendships with some fellow participants too, particularly some of the volunteers. Derrick and I bonded over a mutual interesting in fairtrade; Stuart is a garulous retired pastor who likes to talk to me about Lutheranism; and David and Mandy (I've mentioned them previously) have hosted Chantal and me for lunch and activities.
My values don't have to match up with other peoples' exactly, and that's OK: Friends Intl is a super Christian group, and completely honestly, I'm aware that some of their goal is to secretly evangelize to heathens from other countries (I'm being a little sarcastic here, don't worry). At first the proselytizing potential bothered me. I really don't like evangelism and I really really don't like the assumption that Christianity is "the way" for everyone.
But the thing is, people there are really kind and easy to talk to. And in a year where I've felt particularly isolated, lonely, and socially driftless, I am extraordinarily appreciative of a group who opens their doors every single week for me to come and just be. And, luckily, I actually have barely seen evangelizing; the group just has a very Christian flavor to it. So all that helps.
But the thing is, people there are really kind and easy to talk to. And in a year where I've felt particularly isolated, lonely, and socially driftless, I am extraordinarily appreciative of a group who opens their doors every single week for me to come and just be. And, luckily, I actually have barely seen evangelizing; the group just has a very Christian flavor to it. So all that helps.
And anyway, I know this fact about them. I'm not dumb enough to let it be a surprise, and therefore I can't let it upset me if I choose to attend.
York is a small place, and Christian York even more so: We had our last Friends International meeting this Monday. Again, I surprised myself by being kind of nostalgic about this. We carpooled out to a local village for dinner at the home of two of the volunteers, and took a mini-tour to learn about the history of the area.
After the dinner, I realized how overlapping Friends Intl is with so many things in my life here, even though I've only lived in York for ten months so far. David (as in David and Mandy) is also the accountant for The Island, where I volunteer. Helen, who runs Friends International, is the wife of my landlord, and they both attend the church next door to where I live. Derrick is a member of the Fairtrade Forum, a group I connected with during Fairtrade Fortnight; the leader of this group also happens to be a woman I've emailed and chatted with all year long because she is also the leader of the choir that practices at St. Columba's on Wednesday nights.
I met my friend Chantal, an au pair in York, thanks to Friends International. Recently, she went back to Germany. I can't get on board with seemingly the rest of the YAGM universe, who all seem to feel that the year has simply flown by and they're so sad to leave their sites and they're going to miss their jobs/host communities oh so very much.
Um no, it hasn't. This year has felt extremely long. Interesting, enjoyable, worthwhile, growth-filled, meaningful, and SUPER FREAKING LONG.
But as Chantal and I reminisced over our activities together on our final walk through King's Square, where we would always meet up to commence time spent together drinking hot chocolate or sight-seeing, it did indeed feel like the year had gone quickly (that feeling was brief and fleeting, fyi). I just wished we'd had more time to explore and get to know one another, even though we had almost a whole year. Our friendship was a light and joyous piece of my time year and I hope our paths cross again.
I started out skeptical of Friends Intl; I did not anticipate that I'd still be attending all the way in June. But as with so much this year, I've surprised myself (and sometimes other people have surprised me, too). For Chantal's friendship, for the privilege of meeting people from all over the world who have come to tiny little York, for a calm place to attempt to socialize on a Monday evening, and for free rooibos tea, I'm grateful to have been a part of Friends International.
York is a small place, and Christian York even more so: We had our last Friends International meeting this Monday. Again, I surprised myself by being kind of nostalgic about this. We carpooled out to a local village for dinner at the home of two of the volunteers, and took a mini-tour to learn about the history of the area.
After the dinner, I realized how overlapping Friends Intl is with so many things in my life here, even though I've only lived in York for ten months so far. David (as in David and Mandy) is also the accountant for The Island, where I volunteer. Helen, who runs Friends International, is the wife of my landlord, and they both attend the church next door to where I live. Derrick is a member of the Fairtrade Forum, a group I connected with during Fairtrade Fortnight; the leader of this group also happens to be a woman I've emailed and chatted with all year long because she is also the leader of the choir that practices at St. Columba's on Wednesday nights.
I met my friend Chantal, an au pair in York, thanks to Friends International. Recently, she went back to Germany. I can't get on board with seemingly the rest of the YAGM universe, who all seem to feel that the year has simply flown by and they're so sad to leave their sites and they're going to miss their jobs/host communities oh so very much.
Um no, it hasn't. This year has felt extremely long. Interesting, enjoyable, worthwhile, growth-filled, meaningful, and SUPER FREAKING LONG.
But as Chantal and I reminisced over our activities together on our final walk through King's Square, where we would always meet up to commence time spent together drinking hot chocolate or sight-seeing, it did indeed feel like the year had gone quickly (that feeling was brief and fleeting, fyi). I just wished we'd had more time to explore and get to know one another, even though we had almost a whole year. Our friendship was a light and joyous piece of my time year and I hope our paths cross again.
I started out skeptical of Friends Intl; I did not anticipate that I'd still be attending all the way in June. But as with so much this year, I've surprised myself (and sometimes other people have surprised me, too). For Chantal's friendship, for the privilege of meeting people from all over the world who have come to tiny little York, for a calm place to attempt to socialize on a Monday evening, and for free rooibos tea, I'm grateful to have been a part of Friends International.
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