At the beginning of April, my family returned home to Baltimore and just days later, my aunt and uncle arrived! This was also a very special visit. I've never traveled with just my aunt and uncle (although I guess it was just them traveling, not me). I couldn't take more time off work as I'd just taken a bundle when my family visited, but we spent some nice evenings together wandering around and having delicious meals.
It's fun to step outside yourself and watch your relationships change over time - growing up, an aunt is an aunt and an uncle is an uncle. They are important, meaningful relationships, to be sure. But then slowly, if you're lucky (and I happen to be), that relationship deepens to be something more. It becomes a friendship, and that's how I feel about my aunt and my uncle. I feel lucky to have them in my life.
Only a week after that, Shantonu came to visit me for a second time this year! His first trip was amazing. I was so glad he could come back. I definitely feel very fortunate to have seen him twice during my YAGM year. I know that some people in long-distance relationships go much more than four months without seeing their partner and do a great job, but man...long-distance is HARD. I miss him a lot.
We started our visit together over the weekend in Cambridge, where we hung out with Shantonu's cousins. We attended an art show, punted in the river (very famous thing to do in Cambridge!), and ate yummy food prepared by Veronica.
And, since I had just found out that I had been accepted into the University of Maryland, Baltimore School of Social Work (YAYYY!!!), Veronica also made me the cutest and funnest cake to celebrate! It was a complete surprise. We came in and sat down for tea, and Apu said, "Oh, why don't we have cake?", and Veronica said, "Oh yes, good idea!" And then she set down in front of me a cake and said, "We thought we'd make it a Maryland-themed cake to celebrate your acceptance!"
After I'd gotten over my surprise, I made some joking comment about her whipping up cakes left and right - but I totally thought it had been store-bought. After all, it had the shape of a terrapin on the top of it. Nope. Turns out she had made it home-made. She's that good.
I returned from Cambridge for church on Sunday (my work-week here is Sunday-Thursday) and he rejoined me Sunday evening. It was a take-your-boyfriend-to-work-week and his company made the week so much more fun. He helped me at all the activities I do throughout the week and explored York on his own when I was doing the few things he couldn't join me for.
We also snuck in a nice bike ride along the river and some delicious meals and movie-watching.
And, on one of York's warmest days yet, we had a late afternoon proper tea outside in the square.
Over the following weekend we had a short trip to Liverpool to meet Shantonu's uncle who lives there. We saw the city of Southport which is a coastal town. I don't meet many English cities that I don't love, but I didn't love Southport. It's wide and flat, and even though we visited on a sunny day, it lacks that little zest that makes English cities so interesting.
However, I did love meeting his uncle and his family, who are all lovely, and the village outside of Southport that they live in has lots of greenery. I hope we get to go back and see them again.
I was really sad to say goodbye to Shantonu, more than I expected. I thought I would feel sort of blase - it's only three months til we see each other again and then I'm home for good! - but I just felt sad. Three months feels longer now that I'm actually staring at it in the face.
When Shantonu left, it was hard knowing that the next time I see him, I will have said goodbye to York. I'm split down the middle. Part of me wants to stay forever here in this time and space where I'm growing so much spiritually and emotionally and constantly doing new things, meeting new people, trying and failing and succeeding at life experiments.
But part of me wants so badly to be back in Baltimore, with the people I love and celebrate and cherish. There aren't words to describe how they fill my heart. Since my visitors left, I've felt more achingly homesick for my family and friends than I have in a long time.
To be frank, though, my inner conflict doesn't really matter. Whichever way you slice it, I'm going home in about three months. Home won't be the same place as when I left, and I won't be the same as when I left it. I've grown a lot and things will have changed in my absence.
I have a choice. I could spend the next three months worrying about my return, missing people, wishing I was with them, and fretting about what's to come.
But like I said in My Tribe Visits, Part 1, I've realized that the best way to have an experience is to appreciate what you have more than what you don't have.
So I won't choose to worry (as much as I am able to make that choice, being the natural worrier/forward-thinker that I am). No, as much as I'm able I will choose appreciate what I have in York while I'm here. It is perfectly imperfect, beautiful and rich. This time here is fleeting and precious.
When I go home, it will be much the same. I will embrace the experience I'm having. No matter where I am in the world, it's going to be perfectly imperfect. It will be beautiful and rich in new and different ways.
And no matter what place we call home, for all of us, the time we have in the world is fleeting and precious.
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